Monday, July 01, 2013

What To Do With This Brand New Remission?

Jumping for joy! -- that's what I would really like to do now that I realize I am not going to take any more medication having its main purpose of trying to kill a part of me without destroying the rest of me. I am not going to take any for a while at least. Since I pushed and pushed and nearly said I would end my treatment against medical advice, my oncologist gave in to my request. No more revlimid. Okay to the biophosphates / the Zometa one a month; okay. 

This happened in March. Dr G, my oncologist, said she'd agree to let me go for it once I'd completed a year on the revlimid. As far as I can figure; that was a year. Because, if I remember, I started treatment with her at the end of December in 2011; right after Christmas. Then we barreled ahead for those few months I would rather forget right now and by June, maybe, I was onto the Revlimid. So I guess it was about a year. 

You know, I wish there was a point to what I am writing here. For you, my reader's sake, I would like to put down something worth your while. But I cannot think of any question anyone would ask... because the folks who do call me: my mother, my father, an old friend from my days in the Baltics who now lives here ... they don't ask. I guess, because for quite a while, my responses have been too limited, too uninteresting. I have run out of engaging raparte. 

On good days, I get out in the yard. Last summer, the weeks took over. The grass grew to its full natural height. The weeds and the bare patches had full freedom. I just looked outside and dreaded the idea of pulling the start cord and the heaving and pulling and pushing it would take to mow. This year; I have mowed the yard three weeks straight. The roses, dianthus, daisies, Black-eyed Susans, lavendar, panzies, peonies, climates, forsythia -- everything -- is doing so great and looking so outstanding. I feel happy about it and that is a great thing. Most days, that is, I feel it is great. However there are also days, sometimes more than one in a row, that I spend nearly the whole day in bed. If I knew how to avoid those days, I really would. But they are becoming fewer. Spring has fully bloomed. Summer is opening. We have plans (and plane tickets) for traveling to the Krukowski family reunion in Milwaukee over the first weekend in August -- Oscar & me. We are looking forward and planning for things to keep getting better. 

Granted there have been a lot of lousy weeks -- filled with long strethches of nearly unbearable fatigue and mind-numbing exhaustion. Actually I don't even really know what to call some of those feelings. Pretty darn awful, I guess..

.. that's all I had to say about that ... back in July 2013 ..